Reddit, a website where slightly intelligent people sometimes go, is where I met my most recent date. A guy and a girl who wanted to bring another man into the fray. Their ad said they were looking for the usuals (DP, bukkake, exhibitionist humiliation, etc…).
Naturally, I was happy to oblige them with a message.
We exchange for a few days and they agree to meet up with me for brunch.
Over some mimosas and french toast, we discuss the basics. The who/what/where/when/which-holes of it all. After that’s all been arranged, out of sheer egotistical curiosity, I want to know about who else they’ve screened as a potential third. They told me I was the top-rated individual. Flattering though it may be, being the most impressive sample from internet dating is not necessarily as impressive as they might be looking for.
I bring up the idea of coming to one of the poly events, trying to find a guy there, maybe even a girl.
Then the guy says something:
“It’s easy to find girls who want to be in a threesome.”
That struck me, because he was essentially telling me that one of the most definitively popular male fantasies was not particularly difficult to achieve.
He went on:
“It’s much more difficult to find a guy who wants to be a part of your threesome.”
In my experience, this has definitely been the case. I had never thought about it before, though.
Perhaps one of the most teased tropes in the world of polyamory is the conventional couple looking to add another girl to the relationship. These couples are commonly referred to as Unicorn Hunters because a single, stable, bisexual woman who’s willing to get involved in a pre-existing relationship is thought to be as likely as a mythical creature.
On the much more rare side of that is the couple looking to bring in another man into the relationship. They want a comfortable, non-threatening, possibly bisexual gentleman. These couples are sometimes known as Pegasus Hunters. And depending on who you talk to, a pegasus is harder to find than a unicorn.
I am inclined to agree with that sentiment, based on how little our society does to foster the bisexual agenda. They do even less to foster the bisexual men’s agenda. Specifically, I’m thinking of the following factors:
- No-Homo Syndrome
A girl can kiss other girls at a bar to attract the attention of men (Read: Barsexuals), and this is thought of as wild and playful. A dude can’t go out to the club and start necking his bros to get ladies interested. It’s hard to hit 2 or 3 on the Kinsey Scale when there’s no incentive to hit 1.
Many bisexuals face discrimination the conservative right, who lump them in with Gays, Trans people, and anybody who orders a Mojito. But they also get discrimination from both sides, as there are plenty of people in the gay community who dismiss bisexuals as being confused, desperate or just in a phase. Many bisexuals women find solace in the poly community where there are plenty of unicorn hunters to make them feel accepted. That is not necessarily the case with bisexual men.
- No P2P sharing
Guys are generally cultured to be more possessive in a relationship. Bringing another girl into the relationship can be thought of as a treat for both parties. Bringing another guy into the relationship means that men have to share and women have to be shared to make it work. Definitely not impossible, but certainly against the social grain.
Thankfully, I found a couple open to the idea. We’ll see how they pan out and with their blessing, I’ll share all the juicy, double-penetrated details!